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I am of the opinion that we should carefully consider whether or not we should stop telling kids to “be careful”.
But why?!
In our family, we follow a respectful parenting/Montessori style with our kids.
One of the main principles in Montessori is child led learning. This means trusting your child that they know their body best, their interests best, and that they’ll follow the interests and curiosities that they need in order to keep learning skills and improving in life.
In this blog I want to talk about why I don’t say “be careful” to my kids and the whole Montessori approach to risky play.
In Part II of this series, I talk about What I do instead of saying “be careful”
You can check out that article here: What I do Instead of saying Be careful
I titled this article “stop telling kids to be careful” and I want to break down in detail all of the reasons behind the reasoning for WHY I don’t say be careful.
So why should you stop telling kids to be careful?
There are 3 reasons.
1. Children Need to Learn Their Own Limits
The only way for children to learn what they’re capable of and what they’re not capable of, is by them experimenting and following their curiosities. Being curious and experimenting allows them to learn their own limits.
I want my kids to know that I trust them and I want them to learn how to trust themselves.
The only way for kids to learn what they’re capable of and how to trust themselves is for them to try new things and sometimes fail at new things to be able to learn their own limits. If I’m constantly standing over them saying “be careful”, or “I’m scared you might fall” – that is not projecting confidence and trust onto them. It’s also distracting them from listening to their own body to learn what their own limits are.
So that’s reason number one. I want my kids to learn their own limits and discover what they’re capable of and learn to trust themselves and their own body.
2. It’s Not Helpful Direction
I don’t think that the phrase “Be careful” is helpful feedback at all. It’s an abstract set of words and not helpful direction. Toddlers do much better with specific direction.
Instead of just saying the general phrase “be careful”, I try to use direct instruction if it’s a situation that calls for me intervening and assisting my toddler in noting a danger that could arise.
“do you see the ant pile in front of you? Make sure you step around it” is a lot more helpful instruction than just saying “be careful”.
3. I don’t want to project my own insecurities on to my kids
Usually anxiety or insecurity that I feel is something that I need to work on for myself and not something that I need to project onto my toddler who’s just happily playing.
The only thing I try to project onto my kids is that I have total trust and confidence in them and in their ability. That’s not to say that kids don’t need guidance- sometimes they definitely do! But as a general rule, I want my children to know that I trust them to learn their limits of what’s safe for their bodies.
Be sure to check out part II of this series! What to do instead of saying “be careful”.
Also, check out my favorite resource on this subject! The book The Montessori Toddler
Other Conscious Parenting Articles You Might Like:
- Should Children Go Barefoot? A Look at Child Foot Development
- How to Night Wean a Co-sleeping Toddler – fast and respectful!
- Respectful Parenting: How to Parent with Consent
Prefer watching this content in video form? Check out my YouTube Channel!
Hey, I'm Victoria!
I'm so glad you're here, sweet mother!
My goal is to inspire you to remember your primal roots & live a WILD life in alignment with nature. On my blog I empower you to use herbs and natural remedies to keep your family healthy, teach you how to eat a nourishing, traditional foods diet, and inspire you to raise your babies consciously and respectfully.
